Stillborn
by shortie990
Summary: Sara and Grissom suffer a great loss, how will they both deal with the pain? Not set a particular time. Rated M for future chapters.
1. One

Do not own CSI or any of the characters

Do not own CSI or any of the characters.

This story is about how Sara gives birth to a stillborn baby and how she and Grissom deal with the loss. Not set at a particular time.

* * *

Stillborn

"Sara, I need you to push for me okay, you are almost there!"

Sara nodded her head at this; it was twelve thirty in the afternoon on a hot Nevada summer day. Sara was in the middle of giving birth to her second child. Abbey her first was 20 months now and would be two in November.

She squeezed Grissom's hand as she leaned forward and pushed. "Here comes the baby's head!" spoke out the doctor who was delivering the baby. Sara gripped Grissom's hand harder at this. They were finally having their baby. Prior to this pregnancy Sara had had two miscarriages.

"He's as a lot of hair," noted the doctor grinning up towards Sara and Grissom. The smile then all the sudden was gone and was place with a horror struck look.

Sara who had sensed that something was wrong called out, "What's wrong?" The doctor did not answer Sara but instead turned to the nurse. The nurse came up behind the doctor to see what the matter was. Sara watched as the nurse bit down one her lip and exchanged looks with the doctor. "What's wrong?" asked Sara again, this time there was a tone of panic and fear in her voice. The doctor this time looked up at Sara not with the grin he was wearing earlier but a serious stone cold face, "Sara I need you to push, we need to get this baby out!" He looked like he was going to say more but didn't. Sara didn't like the sound of this. She nervously glanced up at Grissom who was also looked scared. Grissom gave Sara's hand a squeeze, letting her know he was here with her.

With one final push the baby was out. But instead of hearing the baby cry there was nothing. The doctor did not hold up the baby saying it was a boy, like what had been done with Abbey. Instead the doctor cut the umbilical cord himself and rushed the baby over to a table in the corner. The doctor's back was to them, so they could not see what he and the nurse were doing but they knew it wasn't good. Sara and Grissom had caught a glance of the baby as the doctor had stood up, it was blue and lifeless.

It was only five minutes later when the doctor turned back to them with a bundle in his arms. Those five minutes had felt like hours, waiting on the news of their little one. Sara felt Grissom stiffen as the doctor approached them. The doctor had tears in his eyes; this is when Sara knew it wasn't good. "I am so sorry," spoke the doctor handing out the bundle to them. Sara took the bundle of blankets in her arms and appeared down at the little face. If Sara hadn't no better, she would had thought that the baby was asleep he looked so peaceful. Tears rolled down Sara cheeks and on to the baby's blue face. The baby eyes were closed and attached to them were thick long eyelashes. There was a thick crop of dark brown hair on his crown. "What happened?" asked Grissom turning away from Sara and the baby and looking up at the doctor, his voice cracking.

"Nuchal cord," answered the doctor. "The umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby's neck." Grissom had trouble swallowing at these words; his little boy had been strangled to death. Then he asked that one word question that all parents ask, "Why?"

The doctor didn't know how to answer this question; he wasn't even sure himself why. "We are not sure, sometimes when the baby is moving down the birth cannel the umbilical cord makes a loop and the baby's head goes through it. There are many other possibilities on why this happened," explained the doctor.

Grissom nodded at this and turned back to Sara. The doctor apologized once again and left them to be.

Once the door was shut, Sara looked up at Grissom, her drown eyes filled with tears, "Why us?" she asked.

"I don't know," respond Grissom wrapping an arm around Sara's shoulder. Sara buried her face in his chest with the baby still in her arms.

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Please review and thanks for reading.


	2. Two

Do not own CSI or any of the characters

Do not own CSI or any of the characters.

This story is about how Sara gives birth to a stillborn baby and how she and Grissom deal with the loss. Not set at a particular time.

* * *

Stillborn- Chapter 2

The CSI night shift was outside in the hallway, waiting to hear the news about their friends' baby. They watched as both the nurse and the doctor stepped out of the room. The nurse whispered something to the doctor, he just shook his head. The nurse patted the doctor's hand and spoke something else before turning on her heel and heading towards the nurses' station.

The doctor who had his head down the whole time looked up and turned towards them. He stopped dead in his tracks when he realized they were all looking at him. His face looked drained.

"Did Sara have the baby yet?" asked Nick towards the doctor. The doctor looked up at Nick, then looked around at all the others faces. They were all staring back at him, eager to hear the news. The doctor closed his eyes and removed the skull cap from his head before speaking. It was never easy telling the family things like this. "Yes Sara did have the baby, but it was stillborn. I am so sorry," he voice sound strained. He avoided looking at them.

"What?" they all asked at once to him.

"The baby, a little boy was stillborn. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck," explained the doctor. The team just started at the man in shock. They did not know how to process this news. It was with this silence that the doctor escaped down the hallway, leaving them.

"Oh my," whispered Catherine looking over at Warrick. Warrick looked over at the strawberry blonde and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her towards his chest.

They all stood there in silence thinking about that little boy and the pain that Grissom and Sara must have been going through.

The silence was broken a moment later by, "Mama?" asked the two year old toddler in Brass's arms. Brass looked down at the little girl and smiled. Abbey had Sara's beauty, from her big brown eyes to curly brown hair. Which was gathered in to two pigtails on the sides of her head. The little girl looked up at Brass, eyes shining with innocence. "Mama?" the little girl repeated.

Just then a nurse walked back into the room and returned moments later with a tiny bundle in her arms. A gasped escaped from Catherine's lips at the sight of this. They all had a pretty good idea what the nurse was carrying.

Soon after the nurse left, room door opened and a weary looking Grissom stepped out. At the sight of him, Abbey started to squirm in Brass's arms. Brass set the toddler down on the floor and she went running towards Grissom. "Daddy!" she screamed. A smile appeared across Grissom's tired looking face as he bent down to pick up his little girl. He threw her up into the air. A giggle escaped from her lips and echoed through the hallway. Grissom kissed Abbey on the nose as he turned away from the group and went back into the room.

"Poor Sara," spoke Catherine to no one in particular. She could not begin to image what Sara was going through, with having 2 miscarriages in the last year and now this.

"Poor Grissom," added Brass.

"Poor them," replied Greg.

"What should we do?" asked Nick looking around at his friends for suggestions. "Should we go in?"

"No, no we should give them their privacy. The last thing they need right now is our pity!" explained Catherine. She had never told any one about this but she knew how it felt to lose a child.

"Then were should we go?" asked Greg looking towards Warrick and Nick.

"Let's go get a beer," suggest Warrick. The two nodded in reply. They both needed something to distract them from their friends' pain and sorrow.

"You two coming?" asked Nick looking over at Brass and Catherine.

Brass and Catherine both exchanged looks, "No I think we are going to stay, in case they need anything," answered Brass.

Nick nodded at the officer at this. "We'll come back later," replied Warrick giving Catherine's arm a squeeze before leaving.

Catherine and Brass watched as the three men disappeared down the hall. Catherine then leaned against the wall and closed her eyes before turning and looking at Brass, "Do you think they will be okay?" she asked her green eyes pouring into his.

"I hope so," he replied looking at his friend.

"I hope so too," replied Catherine turning back on to her back and looking into the distance. They both were thinking about the last year and how they watched their friends suffer. They couldn't image how they would recover from this.

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Thanks for reading, hoped you liked it!

Please review!


	3. Three

Do not own CSI or any of the characters

Do not own CSI or any of the characters.

This story is about how Sara gives birth to a stillborn baby and how she and Grissom deal with the loss. Not set at a particular time.

* * *

Stillborn- Chapter 3

Grissom entered the quiet hospital room with Abbey in his arms, his little princess. After the nurse had taken Joshua that was what the baby was supposed to be named away, Sara had asked for Abbey. She wanted to hold something that had life.

The moment Sara saw Abbey, a smile widened across her tear stained face. Sara immediately reached out her arms towards Abbey as Grissom made his way to the bed. Grissom placed Abbey down on the bed and watched as she stood up and turned towards her mother. She fell into Sara's embrace and nuzzled her face into the nape of her mother's neck.

Sara wrapped her arms tighter around the tot's body and brought her on to her lap. "Mama," spoke Abbey, twisting her head to get a better look at Sara. The tot stared up at Sara with her big brown eyes. At this a new wave emotion had come over her, she brought Abbey to her chest and buried her face into the tot's soft brown hair. Sara breathed in the scent of Abbey's scalp, vanilla from her bath the previous night.

A moment passed before Sara pulled away and looked down at Abbey.

"Wat's wong Mama?" asked the toddler,

Sara smiled at little at this and slowly reached and removed a stand of hair away from Abbey's face.

"Booboo?" asked the toddler, her eyes wide and bright looking up at Sara's saddening face.

Sara nodded a little at this, "Yes Mama has a booboo." At this tears started to fall down Sara cheeks again.

Just then Abbey reached out with a sticky hand and brushed it again her mother's cheek. Wiping away the tears as they fell.

Grissom, who was trying to keep it strong for Sara, watched as Abbey begun to wipe away Sara's tears. Tears filled in his eyes but he quickly blinked them away. He knew if he started to cry, it would make things worse for Sara. He had to remain strong for her.

Sara reached out and took the toddler's hand into her own and began to kiss it. A giggle escaped from Abbey's lips at this and a grin so wide appeared. This was Sara and Abbey's thing. It always made Abbey laugh, ever since she was old enough to smile.

"My little Abbey Wabbey!" whispered Sara as she kissed her daughter on the tip of her nose. Abbey then leaned in and kissed Sara on her nose. The tot then clapped her hands exciting together and laughed again. Her eyes were wide and bright and full of excitement as she turned her head to look over her shoulder at Grissom.

A smile came across his face at his daughter's happiness.

But as soon as the happiness came it was gone at the reminder of the loss of their son.

"Baby?" asked Abbey looking from Grissom to Sara. Baby was what Abbey called the doll Sara had gotten for her. Sara had gotten the idea after reading an article about helping your children bring in a new baby into the family. The doll was supposed to help Abbey adjust to the idea of having a baby brother. When ever Sara would be feeding or changing Joshua so would Abbey with her doll. Abbey had not liked the doll at all at first but soon grew into it. Now she goes no where with out it.

"Baby?" asked Abbey again, this time more whiney.

Sara stared over her daughter's head towards her husband. They locked eyes and silently communicated to each other. The doll was with Brass and Catherine. Sara watched as Grissom walked to the door. She then leaned back against the pillows and studied her daughter.

Sara had gotten the doll when she was five months pregnant. Abbey had been 16 months at the time. She was too young really to understand that Sara was having another child. So she had gotten the doll for Abbey, to help understand what was going on.

In the hall both Brass and Catherine were shocked to see Grissom appear once again. Grissom met Brass's eye as he approached the two of them. They were both giving him questionable looks at why he was here. "Abbey wants Baby," spoke Grissom quietly gesturing to the doll in Catherine's hand.

"Oh," replied Catherine looking down at the doll. She had forgotten that she was holding it.

"Here," she spoke handing over the doll to Grissom.

"Thanks," replied Grissom taking the doll.

Just as he turned on his heel to leave, Brass called out at him, "Gil."

Grissom turned around at this at look at his friend. "Yah?" he asked looking Brass in the eyes.

The pain in Grissom eyes pained Brass and made it hard for him to keep his friend's glance. "Um, I…we….the whole gang is so sorry for…you're…and Sara's loss," spoke the officer trying to find the right words.

Grissom stared at his friend a moment longer before he replied, "Thanks." He then made his way towards the room.

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I know it's a little short but I hoped you enjoyed it.

Please review and thanks for reading!


	4. Four

Do not own CSI or any of the characters

Do not own CSI or any of the characters.

This story is about how Sara gives birth to a stillborn baby and how she and Grissom deal with the loss. Not set at a particular time.

I know, I know it's been awhile since I have updated but I have been really busying with school and studying and exams. But that is all over now! School ended Friday! So I am free for the summer to write!

Hope you enjoy this chapter, thanks!

* * *

Stillborn- Chapter 4

The bar was noisy and dark. It was located off the strip and only a ten minute drive from the lab. It was where everyone went to get wasted after a hard case. The team had been here multiple times before. It only seemed natural for the guys to come here now.

The three men enter the bar and waved over at the bartender. The bartender lifted his head and nodded at them. They then made their way over to their usual table at the back. Harry the bartender knew all of the nightshift members pretty well; they were some of his daily customers.

Five or so minutes later Harry appeared at the table with there usual a round of beers.

A mumble of thanks went around the table as Harry passed out the beers.

"So what happened?" he asked in his thick southern accent.

They all looked up at this and exchanged looks. It was then Warrick who answered.

"You know how Sara and Griss where having a baby?" he asked Harry as he took a sip of his beer.

"Yah," nodded Harry. "Gil was here the other day talking about how Sara was due soon."

"Well they lost it!"

"No shit?" asked Harry in disbelief.

"Yah it was a stillborn," replied Nick sadly.

Harry just shook his head at this and reached out and grabbed Greg's beer bottle from his hands and took a swig of it. Greg gave Harry a quire look as he placed the bottle back on the table.

"I guess God had his reasons. But shit man! Sara and Grissom had two miscarriages before right?" asked Harry

They all nodded at this.

"That just not right!" spoke Harry before leaving.

They all sat in silence after this, just drinking their beers and looking around the bar. It wasn't long after that a blonde frizzy haired waitress appeared with a new round of beers for them. After she had left, Greg spoke.

"I just don't know how they are going get through this one, especially Sara. Watching them go through miscarriage after miscarriage was hard."

Sara first miscarriage had happened when she was only two months pregnant, and Abbey was only 5 months. The second one had happened when Abbey was 10 months and Sara had been 4 month pregnant this time. Then just two month later Sara had found out she was pregnant again. But Sara had not kept her hopes up about the baby until the very end.

"Especially the 2nd time around," spoke Greg taking a sip of his beer. "Sara had been so devastated when she heard she lost that baby. She blamed it on her self. I just don't know how she is going to get through this one."

"My sister first kid was stillborn. Her and her husband, Phil were devastated. I remember the look on my sister's face. She cried for days I remember. It went on like this for months before, she found out she was pregnant with my nephew Hunter who is four now. She was so happy and graceful to be blessed with Hunter. But I don't think there is not a day that goes by that she thinks about that little girl she lost," spoke Nick. "Losing a child is something I don't think you can ever really get over."

"It's just sucks that it happened to Sara and Grissom. There is no body else in the world I know who wanted this child more. They just wanted to give Abbey a little brother or sister. And they couldn't even give her that," spoke Warrick, anger rising in his throat.

"I know buddy, I know," spoke Nick patting Warrick on the back.

* * *

It was night now, Catherine and Brass had just left with Abbey. Sara was supposed to stay the night. The doctors wanted to make sure she was okay before releasing her in the morning. Usually Grissom would not be allowed to stay the night but all the nurses did not have the heart to tell him to go home after what he had been through that day.

Sara watched as Grissom close the blinds, before coming over to the bed. He slid his shoes off and jeans before getting in beside Sara. Sara turned on her side as Grissom curled up beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist. They stayed like this for a while, listening to the noises coming from the hallway.

It was in between the muffled silence, Grissom heard a soft sob escape from Sara's lips. At this Grissom buried his face in her hair and kissed the nape of her neck.

Sara brought a hand up behind her head and towards Grissom's beard and stroked it.

It was then that Grissom let his emotions finally show. Tears leaked through his eyelashes, and streamed down his cheeks. Silent sods rocked his body. Sara cradled his face in her hands.

They cried together, letting out their grief.

Grissom tightened his grip on Sara's waist, pressing her close to him. He then began to kiss her neck again, salty tears falling on her skin. As Grissom's kiss deepened she let out a moan/sob.

Then all the sudden she dropped her hands from his chin and pushed him away, curling up into ball. "No, no, no," cried of Sara.

Grissom looked down at Sara hurt and confused.

"No!" she cried loudly this time.

Sara then started to cry uncontrollably. Hot, salty, ugly tears rolled down her cheeks. Her nose began to run but she didn't care.

Grissom wrapped his arms around her body.

"It's not fair," she sobbed. "It's not fair, DAMN IT!"

"I know its not," replied Grissom softly kissing the back of Sara's sweaty neck.

"It's not fair," she sobbed. "Why does everything I create seem to die? Why!"

"Hey we still have Abbey," whispered Grissom into Sara ear.

At the mention of her daughter, Sara started to cry harder. "Abbey, my little Abbey-Wabbey!" she cried, a small smile appearing.

At this Grissom kissed the back of Sara neck again and slipped a hand under her flannel pajama top. He ran his hand over the curve of her belly to her breast. His finger tips ran along it with the lightest touch. He tugged softly at the nipple, moving it back and forth with his thumb and index finger. He did this until a hard peek formed. Grissom then ran his hand along the other breast and did the same.

Sara then turned towards Grissom and kissed him on the lips. The kiss was salty and sweet. Grissom kissed Sara back, still cupping her breast.

In a matter of seconds the kiss grew with passion and hunger.

A moan escaped from Sara's lips in between kisses. Sara ran her hand up Grissom's beard to his hair. Her hand then ran through his short salty pepper curls.

Grissom slipped his tongue into the opening of Sara's month and ran the tip of it along her bottom teeth.

Sara hand left his hair and glazed down his neck and chest. She then began to pull at his polo shirt. Grissom slipped his hand from under her shirt and lifted his arms above his head helping her.

The kiss was broken for a quick second as Grissom shirt was removed but resumed as Sara tossed the shirt on to the floor. Grissom was on top of Sara by this point, his hands slowly unbuttoning her shirt. Grissom trailed his lips down her neck and chest. Once the last button was undone and Sara's naval was exposed, Grissom looked up to see that Sara was sobbing.

At once Grissom rolled off of Sara and on to his side and began to wipe Sara's tears.

"No, keep going," whispered Sara.

"No sweetie not now," replied Grissom pulling Sara to his chest.

"Just sleep," he spoke kissing her on the eye lid. He then began to rock her back and forth like he did with Abbey.

Sara nodded at this and closed her eyes. She was still crying but not as hard as before. She then soon fell into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

Please review, I will update soon!


	5. Five

Do not own CSI or any of the characters

Do not own CSI or any of the characters.

So here is chapter 5!

I hope you enjoy it, it really short but I promise the next chapter will be longer! Thanks again for all that have reviewed and read!

* * *

Stillborn Chapter 5:

The early morning sun shone through the window and on to Sara's saddened  
face. In her hands, she was nursing a cup of tea from the cafeteria.

"Sara," spoke Grissom from across the room.

Sara tore her eyes away from the window, where she was watching the sun rise  
over the Vegas strip and towards Grissom.

"You ready?" he asked, his voice as soft as a feather. There was a vial  
of concern shadowing over his eyes.

Sara blinked at him, her eyes empty. They were dry of emotion from the  
previous night. They were red and tired looking. They were not their normal  
bright chocolate colour, but a dull mucky brown instead; the colour of mud.  
She nodded at Grissom and turned to look out the window one last time.

Grissom swung the duffel bag over his shoulder and held out his hand towards  
his wife. Sara walked over to where Grissom stood by the door and took his  
hand. Sara found his touch welcoming against her skin.

Grissom reached up with his free hand and gently brushed a stray hair away  
from her face and behind her ear. He then kissed Sara softly on the eyelid  
before opening the door and stepping out into the hall.

All eyes were on them as they walked down the hall. None of the nurses had  
made them use a wheel chair, even though it was hospital policy. They didn't  
need anymore attention drawn to them.

Sara raised a hand and shielded her face from the bright morning sun as they  
stepped out into the parking lot. Grissom, whose hand was now on the small of  
Sara's back, led her to where they were parked.

Grissom unlocked the car and held open the passenger side door for Sara. Sara  
slid into the seat and gave a small smile towards Grissom. He returned the  
smile before shutting the door. Sara's eyes trailed on him as he walked  
around the front of the car, over to the driver's side.

He took a seat and threw the duffel bag in the back. He shut the door and did  
up his seat belt. He glanced over towards Sara, who was looking out her window  
at the rising sun before starting the car. The car sprang to life. Grissom  
then pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road.

* * *

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

There will be more to come soon!


	6. Six

Do not own CSI or any of the characters

Do not own CSI or any of the characters.

Sara and Grissom arrive home from the hospital.

* * *

Stillborn - Chapter 6

The car pulled up to the two-story suburban home. Sara and Grissom both got out and made their way up the front patio steps to the door. Grissom opened the door and they both entered the house.

"Cath," Grissom called out as he shut the front door behind him.

As Grissom placed the duffel bag on the floor and he and Sara both took off their shoes, Abbey came running down the front hall out from the kitchen moving as fast as her little feet would take her. Abbey's face glowed with joy at the sight of her parents. She was just wearing a pink Dora the Explorer t-shirt and a diaper.

Sara bent down to pick up her daughter. Abbey fell into her embrace.

"Mama."

"Abbey Wabbey," spoke Sara, kissing her daughter continually on the face.

"Where are your pants?" asked Sara next to Abbey. Abbey stared blankly up at her mother. "I dunno," replied Abbey, lifting her arms above her head.

Sara smiled at this and kissed her daughter again on the cheek. "Oh you're so cute!" she sighed.

Just then Catherine appeared.

"Hi."

"Hi," greeted both Grissom and Sara at once.

"She just ate," spoke Catherine coming closer to them, motioning to Abbey.

After this not a word was spoken between them. They all stood in silence, none of them knowing what to say. Sara shifted Abbey in her arms and looked over at Grissom and then back to Abbey.

"Why don't we go get you dressed?" asked Sara, making her way over to the stairs.

Abbey just nodded her head at this and looked back over Sara's shoulder at Grissom and waved. Grissom smiled at his daughter and waved back, watching as Sara mounted the stairs.

"Let's go get some coffee," spoke Catherine, gently touching Grissom on the elbow.

Grissom nodded and followed Catherine into the kitchen. Grissom took a seat at the table as Catherine poured him a cup of coffee. He ran his hands through his hair and began to massage his temples.

"Here drink," spoke Catherine, placing a steaming mug of coffee in front of him and taking the seat beside him.

Grissom stared down into the black liquid.

"Drink," commanded Catherine, pushing the mug closer to Grissom.

Grissom looked up at Catherine; she gave him a stern look, the same look she gave Lindsey sometimes. Grissom just rolled his eyes at this and lifted the mug to his lips and took a sip.

"Happy," he asked Catherine, placing the mug back down on the table.

"Very," replied Catherine with a smirk. She was just worried about her friend. She could tell that he didn't get any sleep last night; coffee would help him a bit.

Catherine rested her cheek on the palm of her hand and looked over at Grissom with concern and worry.

"How are you? How are you feeling?" she asked.

Grissom looked over the rim of the mug to Catherine. He didn't really know how to respond to these questions. How was he, how was he feeling? He hadn't really taken the time to think about this. He had been so focused on Sara and how she was dealing to worry about his own feelings.

He let out a sigh and placed the coffee mug on the table. Just as he opened his mouth to reply, Abbey came in to the room. She was wearing a pretty yellow summer dress, a gift from Grissom's mother.

This was something Grissom had forgotten about. He had to email his mother and tell her not to come down. When his mom heard about Sara being pregnant, she insisted that she come help out Sara when the baby was born, two children are a handful. His mother would be devastated by the loss of the baby. She had waited so long for Grissom to start a family.

Grissom and Catherine both looked at the toddler as she came to the table. Grissom picked the girl up and rested her on his lap. "Where's mommy?" he asked looking down at Abbey, bouncing her on his knee.

Abbey looked up at Grissom with a serious look on her face and replied, "Nursery."

This word pierced Grissom's heart, he had forgotten about the nursery. With that, he was on his feet, handing over Abbey to Catherine. Catherine took Abbey and watched her friend leave. She then turned to Abbey and smiled, "You look very pretty!"

Abbey's hair fell into a mess of ringlets around her face. She looked like a miniature version of Sara from her hair to her eyes to her smile. Abbey looked up at Catherine and smiled.

* * *

Grissom reached the top of the stairs and began to walk down the hall.

The nursery was just off of the master bedroom. The door was cracked open just a bit. Grissom approached the door and glanced around at the room. The room was a soft mint green colour with pine wood furniture. It pained Grissom to see the room so lifeless.

He took a step closer into the room and walked over to Sara and softly placed a hand on her shoulder. She did not turn to look at him. She continued to peer in the crib, running her hand along the soft padding that ran along the inside of the crib. She then reach up and studied the mobile that hung over the crib. It had animals on it, it was a jungle theme. Sara traced the soft material of an elephant with her finger. A second later she turned on the mobile. The animals started to come alive and dance around in a circle. A soft lullaby placed from it too, filling the room.

Grissom, sensing Sara was about to lose it, gave Sara's shoulder a squeeze. "Sara," he stated a note of worry and fear in his voice. Sara turned around and looked at him, tears glazing her eyes.

Grissom dropped his hand from her shoulder and moved it to her cheek. His knuckles then gently began to caress her cheek. Sara closed her eyes at this, tears falling down her face.

Grissom moved closer to Sara and pulled her into an embrace; wrapping his arms around her. Sara pressed her face into the nape of Grissom's neck, letting her tears fall onto his skin and shirt. After a moment or two Sara raised her head and gazed into Grissom's eyes.

Not breaking contact, he leaned in and rested his forehead against Sara's. Sara closed her eyes and gently pressed her lips against his. Grissom returned the kiss and together they became one.

* * *

While Grissom and Sara were upstairs, the door bell rang. Catherine got up with Abbey still in her arms and went to go see who it was. It was Brass and the guys coming over from the lab; shift had just ended.

"Hey Cath," spoke Brass at the red head. "Where are Grissom and Sara?"

"Hey guys," greeted Catherine with a smile, opening the door wider so they could come in.

"Gil and Sara are upstairs," was all she spoke. All men nodded at this in response.

"What's in the bags?" asked Catherine as she shifted Abbey in her arms and closed the door.

"Oh these," replied Nick, holding up two plastic bags, "they're breakfast from Frank's." Frank's was the dinner they went to after work sometimes for breakfast. It was cheap and open 24/7, like most things in Las Vegas.

Catherine nodded at this, "That's sweet of you, but honestly I don't know if Sara and Grissom are in the mood for food right now."

"That's fine," spoke Greg, "we can put it in the fridge. Later on when they are hungry, it will be there."

Catherine looked at the young CSI and smiled. She then turned to the rest of the guys, "Let's go into the kitchen."

They nodded at this and began to follow Catherine.

"Don't forget to take off your shoes!" she called out over her shoulder at them. They all moaned at this and called back, "Yes MOM!!"

In the kitchen, Catherine placed Abbey in her high chair and poured them all coffee. As Catherine did all this, Warrick searched through the cupboards and got out plates and forks and knives.

Five minutes later, they were all seated around the kitchen table, digging into their food.

Abbey then began to fuss in her seat, "I want out! ABBEY WANT OUT NOW!" she cried.

Brass smiled at this and took the tot out of her seat and placed her on his lap. "Better?" he asked.

Abbey nodded at this and reached out and grabbed a piece of French toast off his plate. Brass just chuckled at this and went back to eating his pancakes.

A few minutes later, Sara and Grissom appeared in the door. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at them. They both looked tired and worn down. Grissom had a hand protectively around Sara's hip.

One by one they got up and made their way over to the couple. Nick was the first one to reach them and tell them how sorry he was. He pulled Sara into a hug. Sara found her self hugging the Texan back, it had that affect on her. Next he shook hands with Grissom. Grissom just nodded at Nick.

Greg was after Nick followed by Warrick, who led Sara to his seat and made her sit.

"We brought food," spoke Greg, offering Sara a plate of pancakes. Sara, who wasn't very hungry, politely declined but thanked Greg anyways.

Greg then turned to Grissom and offered him a plate. Grissom eyed the plate and accepted. He thanked Greg and took the seat that Nick offered him.

They then all sat in silence, eating and drinking.

Warrick from across the table looked up and met Catherine's eye. They silently communicated to each other. Catherine smiled a shy smile at Warrick and nodded her head. Warrick smiled at this and went back to eating.

Sara just sat there with her head down, looking at her engagement ring and wedding band on her left ring finger. She watched as the light shone off of the diamond. She then felt someone clasp her right hand. She looked up to see who this hand belonged to, it was Grissom's. She gave him a shy smile, letting him know she was okay. Grissom smiled back at her and kissed her on the forehead before standing up, bringing his dirty plate to the sink.

* * *

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	7. Seven

Do not own CSI or any of the characters.

The memorial service for Joshua.

* * *

Stillborn – Chapter 7

"You ready?" asked Grissom from the doorway, holding Abbey in his arms.

Sara looked up at this and nodded. She then slipped on her shoes and stood up from her seat on the bed. She then gave herself a glance over in the full length mirror. She was wearing a simple black cotton wrap dress with a black cardigan over it. On her legs were a brand new pair of nude pantyhose and on her feet were black round toe kitten heeled shoes. Her hair was tied up in a knot and she had barely any make up on, just enough to cover the bags under her eyes.

Grissom watch her with concern like she was going to break any minute. He held out his hand towards her. He was wearing a black suit and navy shirt and tie, his court outfit. He had a clean, shaven face. In his arms, Abbey wore a black velvet dress and black Mary Janes with frilly socks. Her head rested against Grissom's shoulder. In her hands she clutched a pink blanket and her stuffed whale, two things that she had since birth. The whale was named Harmen and given to her by Greg.

Sara turned to Grissom and took his hand.

* * *

It was not even ten o'clock in the morning yet the sun was already hot and blazing on the people as they entered the stuffy church. Grissom and Sara took a seat up front. They could feel every ones eyes on them as they walked up the aisle.

Grissom tried not to awaken Abbey, who had fallen asleep on the ride over. He shifted her over to his other shoulder as he sat down and wrapped his other arm around Sara. Sara sat down and just stared straight ahead at the podium, where soon the priest would stand behind.

The church was filled with many people from the LVPD and lab. Sitting two rows behind them were some of the lab rats: Hodges, Archie, Mandy and Bobby. At the very back sat David with his wife Minnie and their three year old son Wesley. Also sitting at the back was Sophia, Ecklie, the DA and the sheriff. In front of David sat Dr. Robins and his wife and Brass. Sitting in the row beside Sara and Grissom's was Catherine and Warrick; they were holding each other's hand. Nick was seated beside Warrick. Greg was a row behind them with a seven month pregnant Wendy and her fiancé Steve.

There were also various family members from Grissom's side of the family present; his mother Fiona, his great Aunt Abigail (who Abbey was named after), his cousins Malcolm and Duncan with their wives and kids and their mother, his aunt Jenna.

Soon Sara's older brother Jake arrived and took a seat beside Sara. He was Sara's only real living relative left. Her mother was out of prison now but they had lost touch with each other over the years. Sara had cousins, an aunt and uncle from her dad's side living in Florida; her dad's sister and brother-in-law, Chelsea and Chase. They had sent Sara a fruit basket the day before.

Jake was 38, five years older then Sara. He had flown in from Los Angles where he lived with his girlfriend of ten years, they are both screen writers. Sara and Jake had lost touch with each other after the death of their father. Sara had been barely 11 at the time and Jake was 16. Jake had dropped out of high school and had been living on the streets for a few years, while Sara had been put in foster care. They had gotten back in touch with each other when Sara had moved back to San Francisco after graduating from Harvard. At that point, Jake had cleaned up his act and had started night school at a local college. They had been close ever since. Sara flashed a shy smile at Jake as he took her hand and gave it a squeeze as the priest stood up at the front.

Half way during the service, Abbey had woken up and started to fuss. She was hungry. Grissom tried to quiet her by rubbing her back but it did not help. Abbey continued to wail and cry. Sara then took her from Grissom and placed her on her lap. Sara then reached into her purse and pulled out a pacifier and popped it into the tot's mouth. Abbey was a little to old for it but it still did the trick because Abbey had settled down and leaned back against Sara's chest.

Sara then looked over at Grissom, who leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. She then rested her head upon his shoulder and closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling.

* * *

After the service was over, Sara and Grissom went over and thanked the priest. They then made their way out of the church and into the hot Nevada sun again.

The first people they were confronted with were Grissom's mother. She hugged and kissed each of them, saying how sorry she was for them and how the lord worked in strange ways. Sara signed to his mother thanks. Sara then handed over Abbey to her, who gladly took her granddaughter.

"Nana!" cried Abbey with glee.

Fiona smiled at her granddaughter and signed to her hi.

Abbey signed back, Grissom had been teaching her.

Fiona then signed to her granddaughter I love you. Abbey thought for a second and mimicked her Nana and signed I love you back.

Sara couldn't help but smile at this.

She then felt a hand on her shoulder, it was Jake. Sara turned around and hugged him, thanking him for coming.

* * *

After everyone had approached them giving them their condolences and such, Sara took Grissom's hand and together they made their way down a hill to where the grave sight was. They didn't have to look hard or far to find it. It was the 3rd closest to the hill. It was a plank like tomb stone, a few inches high. On it read….

_Joshua Gilbert Grissom_

B. July 12, 2006

D. July 12, 2006

Always in our Hearts

Sara let go of Grissom and bent down and placed a lily beside it. She then traced a finger along the engraving. By this point a veil of hot tears covered her eyes. Sara then all the sudden fell on to her knees, getting grass stains on her pantyhose. Her body shook with sobs. Grissom knelt down beside her and wrapped his arms around her. Sara began to push him away, punching him in the chest. Grissom just wrapped his arms tighter around tall frame, pulling her to his chest.

"Shh," he whispered rubbing her back as she continued to cry hysterically.

* * *

At the top of the hill, everyone watched from a far at this little scene. They could not see Sara's face but could hear her cries clearly. It was heart breaking.

Just then Abbey said something truly heart wrenching….

"Ware's Joshqa?"

Grissom's mother who was holding her could not hear this but Catherine and the rest of the guys did. They all looked at one another, not knowing what to say.

"Honey, he's…" began Catherine, thinking it was a good thing that neither Sara nor Grissom where in ear shot of this. It would probably break their heart even more.

"He's in heaven!" continued Catherine. Abbey looked up at Catherine blankly with her big brown eyes. She looks so much like Sara, thought Catherine.

"Up in the sky!" replied Catherine to the tot, pointing up at the sky smiling. Abbey titled her head up and looked up at the bright clear blue sky. "Joshqa!" cried Abbey smiling pointing up at the sky.

* * *

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	8. Eight

Do not own CSI or any of the characters.

There is a little surprise at the end!

* * *

Stillborn – Chapter 8

After the service, all the guests had gone back to the Grissom household for food and drinks. Around seven o'clock in the evening, everyone soon headed out leaving the grieving family to be. A few stayed behind though; Grissom's mother (who was staying over for a night), Sara's brother Jake (was also staying for the night) and then the rest of the night shift, plus a few of the lab rats.

While all the men were outside in the back yard, the women were in the kitchen talking and cleaning up. Sara had offered to help but Catherine didn't let her and sat her down in a chair.

"Just relax Sara," Catherine ordered as she began to place dirty plates into the dish washer.

Sara just shot her a dirty look, before picking up a pajama clad Abbey and sitting her on her lap. Abbey rested her head lazily on Sara's shoulder as she drank her bottle of warm milk. Sara rubbed Abbey's back as she drank. Sara then looked over at Wendy, who had just taken the seat across from her. Wendy was glowing, Sara noticed, as she watched as she ran a hand over her stomach. A stab of jealousy pricked her heart; it was only a few weeks ago she was like that, glowing and happy.

Wendy noticed Sara staring and her and nervously smiled. Sara returned the smile. They both continued to stare at each other like this for a moment, not knowing what to say. Just as Sara opened her month to speak, the back door opened and Steve appeared. Both of them looked up at this. "Steve!" cried Wendy.

"The one and only," he replied, grinning at Wendy. "Are you ready to go?" he asked as he came over to her.

Wendy looked up at him and nodded. She then turned to Sara, "Um it's getting late…we're going to head out."

"Oh…of course," replied Sara, getting up and juggling Abbey in her arms, who was barely awake now.

"No, no, it's okay. You stay, we'll see ourselves out," reassured Wendy getting up and placing a hand on Sara's shoulder. "You stay."

Sara was about to protest but then next thing she knew, Wendy and Steve were already half way to the door. Sara just stared blankly at them for a second, before sitting back down again.

Now only Sara, Catherine, Mandy and Abbey were remaining in the kitchen. Grissom's mother Fiona had already gone off to bed.

* * *

Outside, on the deck were Grissom, Brass, Nick, Warrick, Hodges, Jake and Archie. Both David and Dr. Robbins and their wives left. All the men had their jackets and ties off. Only in Nevada could it still be boiling hot as the sun went down. They all had a beer in their hands, staring out into the distant. It had been a long day for all of them, especially Grissom.

As Grissom took a sip from his beer, Brass leaned over and asked, "Are you really okay?"

This caught Grissom off guard a bit. He shifted his blue eyes over to Jim and started at him for a second. He then looked around him making sure no one else was listening in but everyone was in their own conversations.

"Um, yeah I think so," he replied turning his attention back to Brass. "It's just Sara that I'm worried about," he mumbled looking down into his now empty beer bottle.

"She's strong, she'll get through it. She survived the first few miscarriages," replied Brass. He was positive that they would make it through somehow.

"But that's the thing; she might be tired of surviving. You don't know Sara like I do. When something like this happens she gets depressed and says she fine but really she's not. She self destructs. And I know she blames herself for this, just like she blames herself for the first two miscarriages. I just know it!" he voice was filled with raw emotion as he spoke. Grissom then looked up towards Jim with tears in his eyes but they were gone in a flash.

Brass did not know really how to respond to this. He knew Grissom was hurt and Sara was hurting even more. And Grissom had been right, he didn't know Sara that well, or as well as Grissom knew her. But Brass liked to think he at least knew her well enough to know she was strong enough to get through this, her third miscarriage.

Instead of responding, Brass just reached out and gave Grissom a pat on the back. He just didn't know what else to do. Grissom smiled a little at this and went back to staring into his beer bottle, like the answers to his problems lay there.

* * *

"Thank you," spoke Sara to Nick as she hugged him goodbye. Nick hugged her back and whispered something in her ear before letting her go. He then kissed her on the cheek. "I'll see you later, okay."

"'Kay Nicky," replied Sara.

Nick then turned to Grissom and shook hands with his supervisor. The Texan then turned to Abbey, who was fast asleep on Grissom's shoulder, and softly touched her hair. He smiled as he said, "Bye Bugaboo!"

Nick then waved a final goodbye before, heading out the door. He was heading home to get some rest before he had to head in for work. Catherine and Warrick were next to leave but before they left, Warrick held Sara in her arms for the longest time, just rocking her back and forth as Grissom and Catherine talked. Once they had left, only Greg was left. Greg held his arms open for her and hugged her. Sara hugged him back and kissed him on the cheek goodbye. Grissom then shook hand with him, "Sanders," he spoke. Greg smiled at little at this and replied, "Grissom.

He then reached out and touched the tip of Abbey's nose with his finger before leaving.

Once he was gone, and the door was shut and locked, Sara turned to Jake and hugged him good night. "Thank you so much for coming on such short notice," she whispered into his ear.

"No problem. I wouldn't have missed it for the world, he was my nephew. And you're my sister. You needed me!" replied Jake.

She then pulled back from the hug and looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Thank you," she spoke again as she leaned in and kissed him goodnight on the cheek. She then turned to Grissom who was waiting for her on the stairs. Grissom said good night to his brother-in-law before mounting the stairs.

Jake said goodnight and watched them disappear up the stairs before going into the family room, were he would be spending the night on the couch.

Upstairs in Abbey's room, Grissom lay Abbey down in her crib. He caressed her soft cheek with his thumb as he wished her good night. Sara was next to say good night. She leaned over the crib and kissed her daughter softly on the forehead. "Sweet dreams pumpkin," she spoke. She then stood up and turned to Grissom, who was waiting for her in the door way. Sara walked over to him and together they left but not before turning on Abbey's night light.

* * *

In the bedroom, Sara sat down on the edge of the bed and buried her face in her hands. Today had been something she hoped she would never have to do, bury a child, especially a child who never got to live in the first place. At this tears fell into her palms and seeped between her fingers and on to her lap.

A moment later Grissom appeared from the master bathroom. "Sara," he spoke, worried about seeing her like that.

Sara looked up at this, "I'm fine," she spoke. Grissom did not believe her but he wasn't going to push her, not yet.

"It's ready."

Sara nodded at this, whipping the tears away with the back of her hand while she stood up and made her way over to him. The master bathroom was a pretty good size; it had a vanity with double sinks, a shower and a tub big enough for two.

"Can you help me?" asked Sara softly up at Grissom, as she undid her hair.

"Of course," replied back Grissom, leaning in and kissing her sweetly on the lips.

He first helped her out of her cardigan. Next he slowly untied her dress and watched it as it fell to the floor. He then turned to Sara and motioned for to sit on the edge of the tube, which she did. Grissom then knelt down in front of her and lifted her leg up. He then ran his hand up it to her thigh, where then began to roll the stocking down. Sara closed her eyes and clenched the edged of the tub with her hands. Grissom's touches on her skin felt so good, it was hard not to give in. Once the stocking was off, he did the same to the next leg. Once both stocking were removed, Grissom helped Sara stand up. Next was the removal of the bra and panties. The backs of his knuckles rubbed up against her back as he undid the clasp of her bra. It then fell to the floor with the rest of Sara's clothes. Sara removed her panties, slipping then slowly down her legs, until they fell to her ankles, where she then stepped out of them.

There was then one more piece of clothing to be removed, a pearl choker around Sara' neck. Sara tilted her head and removed her hair to one side, giving Grissom a better view of the necklace clasp. Sara could feel his breath on her neck as he leaned in and removed the choker.

Next Grissom helped Sara into the shower. He stood there for a few moments, watching her as she stood under the steaming faucet. He watched as she reached for the shampoo.

Just as she was about to squirt some in her hands, her head all the sudden dropped to her chest and her shoulders started to shake. She was crying. Grissom quickly removed all of his clothes and stepped into the shower. Sara's back was to him. He the reached out from behind her and grasped the bottle from her hand. He then squirted shampoo into his own hand and began to massage it into her scalp, letting the bottle drop to his feet. Sara lifted her head at this a little.

"Close your eyes," he spoke as he moved her under the head of the shower even more, washing the soap out.

Next was conditioner. Grissom then reached for the body wash and rubbed it over Sara; starting with her shoulders and moving down her back to her buttocks, were he softly ran his hands over. Sara then turned around so he could do her front side. He started at the base of her neck and collarbone, then to her shoulders and arms. After were her breasts. Their eyes locked on each other as he cupped her breasts with both hands and lathered them with soap. Sara let out a shiver as Grissom thumbs ran back and forth over the sensitive tissue of the nipples. He felt them go hard under his palms. Grissom then trailed his hands down the sides of her ribs to her hips but that were as far as he got to. Sara had pressed her self against him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Grissom immediately placed his hands on Sara's waist. Their lips then locked together.

* * *

"So did you talk to Sara?" asked Warrick from the bedroom.

"Yeah!" called Catherine from the bathroom, were she was brushing her teeth. A few moments later the strawberry blonde appeared into the room. She untied her robe, revealing a powder blue nightgown and climbed into bed next to Warrick.

"But she didn't say much," explained Catherine as she pulled the comforter up and untied her hair, letting it fall down her shoulders. "I didn't really push her much either. I just asked her simple yes or no questions. Like if she is going to return back to work or not and such."

"Well is she?" ask Warrick looking up from the book in his lap to his wife of only 6 months.

"Um she wasn't sure," replied Catherine. "But I don't think she will. She is too fragile right now and I think returning back to work might make things worth for her. I don't know. And I think she wants to spend more time with Abbey. She just wants to be a mother right now, not a CSI."

Catherine looked over at Warrick as she explained her thoughts to him. Warrick nodded at his wife. She was right, Sara had gone back to work right away after her first miscarriage, and it didn't really work out well. She couldn't handle the stress of work and of the loss of a baby. Then after the second miscarriage, she took some time off.

Warrick then placed his book on the night stand and reached out for Catherine. She snuggled up to him, resting her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

"So when are we going to tell them?" asked Warrick next.

"I don't know," spoke Catherine shaking her head. "Its just not the right time you know."

He nodded at this, "I know but we have to tell them soon."

"I know."

"You're going to be getting bigger soon and then we won't be able to hide it any longer," went on Warrick.

Catherine did not reply but simply placed a hand over her abdomen. She was four months pregnant. They had planned on telling the team after Sara had had her baby. But then the baby was a stillborn, and now they didn't know when to tell them. They didn't want to rub it in any ones noses.

Warrick kissed her on the top of her head and place a hand on hers. She smiled at this and turned around so she was facing him. She then leaned in and kissed him square on the lips.

Life went on.

* * *

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	9. Nine

Do not own CSI or any of the characters

The song is called Baby Mine from Dumbo, do not own lyrics.

* * *

Stillborn Chapter 9

Two days after the funeral, Grissom returned back to work. He was glad to be returning; being at home just reminded him of his loss. He was looking forward to the familiar pattern that work brought.

As Grissom walked down the hallway of the lab, folders in hands, he could feel everyone's glances burning into his skin. But he just ignored it.

He entered the break room, and there sat his team waiting for him. They gave him a warm welcome back. Grissom couldn't help but smile a little of this. Life was slowly returning back to normal in a way.

He then got down to business and handed out assignments to the team. He was with Warrick and Nick on a homicide; Catherine and Greg were on missing person.

The car ride to the scene was very quiet. All three men seemed to be in their own thoughts. The only real noise was coming from the radio, were Nickelback's Rockstar blared from the speakers.

20 minutes later or so, they pulled up to the scene.

Once they had retrieved their kits from the trunk of the SUV and crossed the yellow crime tape, they were greeted by Brass who was waiting for them.

"Now I have to warn you, it's pretty brutal," he warned them before leading them into the house, where the body lay.

Immediately the smell of copper filled their noses; blood.

Even with Brass's warning, the three men were not prepared for what came next as they rounded the corner of the hallway and entered the bedroom.

There lying on the king size bed, was a naked dark haired woman with her abdomen sliced opened. She was what appeared to be 8 months pregnant. Lying beside her was the still body of an infant; the umbilical cord had yet to be cut and appeared to be wrapped around its neck. There was blood all over the bed sheets and there was cast off on the nearby wall.

All three men stood in the door way frozen; this was monstrous!

"The husband came home found her like this. Her name is Shelly Mayor, 29 years old, a surgical nurse," explained Brass. "This was there 2nd child."

As Nick and Warrick began to get to work, Grissom stayed rooted to the door, his eyes never leaving the motionless infant who was still attached to his mother. He was thinking about his own infant son, who body had been stiff and motionless when the doctor had handed him over.

He then all the sudden had to get out of the house. The room was suffocating him. He then quickly mumbled something about forgetting something in the SUV and exited the room. Warrick, Nick and Brass just watching him with concern as he left.

"Just give him a minute," spoke Brass to the two young CSIs. He then cast a concern looked down the hallway.

Grissom quickly retreated his steps back down the hallway and out the door, kit still in his hand. Once he was safely outside of the yellow tape, he placed his kit down beside his feet and threw up in the bushes beside the house.

Once he was done he looked over his shoulder back towards the crime scene. Grissom didn't know how he would be able to go back in to where the horror lay. He then ripped off his hat and ran his hands through his hair. He then felt his eyes all the sudden fill with tears, but he quickly brushed them away. He wasn't going to lose it at a crime scene.

But no matter how hard he tried the tears came, one by one they slid down his cheeks. He buried his face in his hands for a moment, before angrily turning towards the SUV and slamming his palms against the window and kicking the back tire.

All the emotions that he had felt when he got the news of his son came flooding back to him in waves.

Grissom then gave himself another 5 minutes or so before turning heading back to the crime scene, he still had to process the room.

* * *

The house was quiet, when Grissom returned home later on. He was still emotional about what he had seen. It seemed like every time he closed his eyes to think, he pictured the peaceful look his stillborn son, Joshua.

Grissom slowly mounted the stairs to the bedroom, one by one. He just need a hot shower and to curl up with his wife. But when he finally reached the bedroom and peered in, the bed was empty, no sign of Sara.

He then noticed a light casting off the wall, coming from the open crack of the door from Abbey's room. Grissom slowly approached the room and pushed opened the door quietly. There sat Sara in the rocking chair, with Abbey bundled up in her arms like a baby.

Sara's face was cast down on Abbey's. She was too busy to notice Grissom standing there watching her. Sara sat there caressing Abbey's sleeping face. She was singing to her, just like she did when Abbey was a newborn and couldn't sleep.

_Baby mine, don't you cry  
Baby mine, dry your eyes  
Rest your head close to my heart  
Never to part, baby of mine_

_Little one when you play  
Don't you mind what you say  
Let those eyes sparkle and shine  
Never a tear, baby of mine_

Sara then looked up, finally noticing Grissom but kept on singing.

_If they knew sweet little you  
They'd end up loving you too  
All those same people who scold you_

_What they'd give just for  
The right to hold you_

_From your head to your toes  
You're not much, goodness knows  
But you're so precious to me  
Cute as can be, baby of mine_

Sara finished the song and kissed Abbey lightly on the forehead.

"She couldn't sleep," she explained as she adjusted the sleeping toddler in her arms and rose to her feet. She then turned her back to Grissom and laid down Abbey in her crib.

Grissom then lead Sara back to the bedroom.

Once they had climbed into bed and were snuggled up to each other, Sara spoke, "How was work?"

Grissom opened his mouth to reply but then closed it. He was about to tell Sara about the crime scene but realized it was too gruesome to mention.

"It was fine," he lied quietly, leaning in and kissing her on the cheek.

Sara smiled at this a little and fell asleep against Grissom's shoulder.

* * *

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	10. Ten

Do not own CSI or any of the characters

I know it's been a while since I have uploaded this story but don't think I have forgotten about cause I haven't.

So please read and review, this chapter!

* * *

Stillborn- Chapter 10

Sara woke up earlier then usual that morning. She had plans to meet Grissom and the team for breakfast at Frank's that morning.

She rolled on to her back and stretched before getting out of bed. She then walked out of the room, towards the bathroom not bothering to make the bed. This was something Sara had been ignoring for the past couple of days now. She just had no desire too.

A yawn escaped from her lips as she turned on the faucet of the shower. As she waited for the water to warm, she studied her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her skin was pale and extremely tired looking. It looked like she hadn't slept in weeks. This was true ever since that day, she had been living in some sort of nightmare that she couldn't wake from.

Her usually bright and vibrant eyes were sad and sorrowful. They were filled with the loss of her son.

Sara then stripped off her bagging sweats and t-shirt, which she wore to hide the reminder of her now empty belly and stepped into the steaming hot shower.

Sara raised her head letting the water run down her face.

The heat of the water burned her skin but she didn't mind. This pain did not compare to the pain in her heart.

Ten minutes later, Sara turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. She then wrapped a towel around her body and made her way towards the hallway.

Back in the bedroom, Sara let the towel drop to the floor and got dressed, pulling on a pair of jeans and a long sleeve white T with the works Las Vegas written across the chest.

Sara bent down and retrieved the towel from the floor and quickly rubbed it against her head, drying her hair. Sara then walked back into the bathroom and picked up her cloths off the floor and threw them into the basket hamper, alone with the towel.

She then gave her teeth a quick brush before, making her way over to Abbey's room. Like every morning, Abbey was sitting in her crib awake waiting for Sara. It was like she had a sensor in her body telling her when Sara was wake; she had been always up with Sara since she was a new born.

Sara couldn't help but smile at this.

"Hey Ab," greeted Sara towards her daughter as she came over to the crib.

"Mama," cried Abbey, smiling up at Sara, arms reached out.

Sara lifted her daughter from the crib and smuggled her against her chest, kissing the top of her head.

Sara then carried Abbey over to her closet and opened it.

"What do you want to ware today Miss. Abbey?" she asked looking down at the tot.

The tot just stared at Sara blankly. "I dunno!"

Sara then placed Abbey down on the floor and began to search throw the rack of clothes.

Five minutes later Abbey was changed from her pajamas to a jean swort and a cute pink t-shirt with capped sleeves.

Before leaving the house, Sara gathered some of Abbey's hair into a pig tail on top of her head and checked to make sure that she had everything she needed, including a sippy cup full of apple juice and Herman, Abbey's stuffed elephant.

* * *

Abbey was fast asleep in her car seat once the car pulled up to the diner. She was not used to being up this early in the morning.

Sara undid her seat belt and got out, making her way over to the side door, sliding it open and lifting the sleeping Abbey out of her seat and into her arms.

In the diner, everyone was already seated there waiting for her to arrive.

Grissom rose to his feet and planted a kiss on her lips as she arrived at the table. They were seated at their usual booth. A around of Hi's greeted her around the table.

Sara slide into the booth with Abbey still in her arms. Nicky who was on her right, greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. Sara smiled at this and looked at her friend. "Hi Nicky!"

The Texan gave her arm a squeeze before kissing the top of Abbey's head. Grissom then slide in beside Sara, resting a hand on her thigh.

Sara turned her head towards him her brown eyes meeting his blue eyes.

"How are you?" he asked in a quiet voice, that only she could hear.

"Ok," whispered back Sara.

Seated across from Sara were Warrick and Catherine. He had his arm protectively over her shoulder. Sitting at the edge of the table was Greg.

A few moments later the waitress arrived, she offered them the menu but they didn't need it, they had already memorized it.

After the order was taken, Warrick cleared his throat getting his friends attention.

Catherine looked at Warrick and asked, "Now?"

Warrick looked down at her and nodded, "Now or never right!"

He then turned back towards the rest of them, who were all staring at him, wondering what he had to say.

"Ok, there is a reason we asked all you out here today," he began looking around at everyone. He then looked down at Catherine and smiled, squeezing her hand.

"We're Pregnant!" they cried together.

There then was a loud crashing noise of china breaking on the floor. Greg had dropped his mug full of coffee in shock.

Abbey awoke at this and started to cry. Sara tore her eyes away from Warrick and Catherine and on to her daughter.

"Sshh," cooed Sara, shifting Abbey up on to her shoulder and rubbing her back. Once Abbey was settled back down, Grissom took her from Sara and placed her on his lap.

The table was now silent again, that sentence still hanging in the air.

Nick was the first to break this silence that was like an elephant, taking up air. "That's great!" he cried leaning over the table and kissing Catherine on the cheek. "Congrants!"

"Thanks man," spoke Warrick shaking Nick's hand.

Following Nick's lead, Greg was next to congratulate the couple on their happy news.

After Greg was seated back in his chair from hugging both Warrick and Catherine, all attention was on Sara, seeing how she would take this news.

Sara forced a smile on her face and congratulated them.

"I'm happy for you too," she spoke. "I really am. A child is an amazing blessing," Sara looked over at Abbey at this and traced a finger alone the bass of her jaw. Abbey looked up at Sara at this and smiled her face lighting up like a Christmas tree.

Grissom then reached out and shook Warrick's hand giving them his blessing.

Soon afterwards their food arrived. Everyone dug into their plat besides Sara, who had suddenly lost her hungriness.

After a few moments of eating in silence, Greg looked up from his plate and asked, "So how far along are you?"

Catherine looked up at this and swallowed the remainder of her pancake before replying, "Four months!"

"Woe, that's far," cried Nick looking up from his plate.

"Yep," nodded Catherine looking over at Nick.

She then noticed Sara's glance on her. She met Sara's eye and smiled. Sara held the strawberry blonde glance for a second more before looking down into her lap.

* * *

Later on back at home, Grissom lay Abbey down for her daily nap at 1:00. As Grissom shut the door to Abbey's room, he heard crying coming from downstairs. He then slowly made his way down the stairs and over to the kitchen, where he found Sara sitting on the tile floor leaning against the fridge, sobbing silently clenching a bleeding hand.

"Sara," cried Grissom, rushing to her side. "What happened?"

Sara looked up at him, tears running down her cheeks. "The glass broke,"

And sure enough there was broke glass all around her and in the deep cut of her palm.

Grissom then got up and got a dish towel from the counter and pressed it against her palm, trying to stop the bleeding.

"Honey, your going to have to get stitches, this is pretty deep," explained Grissom examining her hand.

Sara just continued to sob not pay attention to Grissom.

Grissom looked at Sara concerned; he had never seen her this bad before. He knew she wasn't crying over her hand but over the news of Catherine expecting. He then drew his arms around Sara's shaking body and pulled her towards his chest. Her tears soaking into the fabric of his shirt but he didn't care.

He kissed the top of her head, rocking her back and force like a child.

* * *

Thanks for reading, please review!


	11. Eleven

Do not own CSI or any of the characters

I know it's been a while since I have uploaded this story but don't think I have forgotten about cause I haven't.

So please read and review, this chapter!

* * *

Stillborn- Chapter 11

Sara was not there, curled up to his side like he had fallen asleep too. Fussing his brows together in the dark, Grissom sighed. Wondering where Sara had gone off too? He knew she could just be in the bathroom or something but he still feared the worse. It had been six weeks since Sara had cut her self in the kitchen. It had been hard but the reality of Catherine being pregnant had settled in for Sara, or at least for the most part. Grissom knew that Sara would cry herself to sleep at night or make up excuse to why she couldn't join the gang for breakfast and such. He knew that she needed to grieve and get through the loss of her own terms but he was afraid that she would do something worse. Sara self destructs. And he feared that one day Sara will be unable to live anymore in the nightmare that she is going through. Joshua had been dead for two months now. The pain had numbed over for the most part but the loss still ached sometimes. He just feared this aching feeling would never go away and take away the person he loved.

He shook his heads, trying to get ride of the thoughts of Sara harming herself even more then what she already had done and glanced over to his left towards the master bathroom. The light was off he noted. Closing his eyes, he was about to go back to sleep deciding that Sara would be back up soon, when he heard a distance noise.

Cautionary getting out of bed, Grissom made his way into the hallway; his bare feet pounding against the hard wood floor. He appeared into Abbey's room first, where the tot was curled fast asleep, clenching her blanket. Closing the door behind him, He looked across to the nursery. The door was slightly a jarred, a single yellow line of light was bursting thought the crack and down the hallway. Stopping a few feet from where he stood.

Grissom walked towards the light, pushing open the door to find Sara, moving a dresser into the middle of the room where other furniture was, She was too focused on her task to notice him watching her. There were old sheets spread out on the floor, covering every inch of the room.

Grissom then watched Sara as she bent over a can of paint, pouring it into a tray. The paint was left over from when they painted the dinning room last Christmas, a soft apricot orange. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of her, her hair was up in a messy bun. She had on only an old faded Harvard t, which came down mid thigh, just covering the curve of her ass.

Dipping the roller into the paint, Sara looked up to see Grissom smiling at her.

"What?" she shrugged, meeting his eye.

"Nothing," he replied back with a shrug. He was leaning against the frame of the door, arms across over his chest. "Just wondering what you are doing?" he asked.

"What's it look like!" she replied as she applied the roller onto the white primed wall, "I am painting!"

"I can see that," replied Grissom stepping into the room. "But why now Sara?" he asked moving closer to her. Sara was not looking at him but concentrating on her painting job.

"I couldn't sleep," she shrugged, quickly looking over her shoulder at him before returning back to her task.

He knew Sara had been talking about redecorating the nursery back into an office over the last week or so. It had been two months since the stillborn. She wanted closure, he knew. He understood this, he needed it too. However, Grissom just didn't think that the middle of the night would be the time to do so.

"Finish it in the morning," he offered, taking a step towards her, trying to take the roller away from her. "Sara, come back to bed."

"No Gil," she shook her head. "I have to do THIS NOW!" Her brown eyes focused on his face. They were a mix of sorrow and hunger. She need to do it now, she needed to paint a fresh start on these walls or less. She stood like this for a second, staring at him. After a second she turned back to wall and continued on with her task.

Grissom dropped his hands to his side at this and let out a deep breath. He knew there was no point and arguing with her. Rubbing the sleep away from his eyes, he watched as Sara painted away for a moment, watching as the apricot colour was applied over the white primmer.

"Can I at least help you?" he asked in a quiet voice, picking up a paint brush which lay beside the tray of paint.

Sara looked over at him and smiled. "I thought you would never ask!"

And with that the two of them painted side by side into the morning, covering the walls of the nursery. They weren't erasing the memory of their son away but it was time to move on. A time for fresh starts in the Grissom household.

* * *

I know its short but please review!Thanks for reading!


	12. Twelve

Do not own CSI or any of the characters!

Okay here is the long awaited chapter of Stillborn. Sorry it took so long to update- computer kinda broke and lost all my work. But anyways, here it is.

Enjoy!

* * *

Stillborn- Chapter 12

"You can just phone my cell, if she is giving you any trouble," told Sara to 15 year old Lindsey, who was babysitting Abbey, while she, Grissom, Catherine, and Warrick attended the wedding of Wendy. After giving birth to a little girl named Kiki in late August, Steve and Wendy where finally getting married after being together for four years now. They were having a traditional wedding out at a big fancy golf course and country club, just on the outskirts of Las Vegas. All of the nightshift CSIs and lab rats where attending has well.

"Will do!" chimed the teenage at Sara. She had been babysitting the tot since she was six month hold but still didn't seem to stop Sara from mentioning all the time to call her if Abbey was any trouble for her, which she never was.

A smile then appeared on Sara's tired looking face as she touched Lindsey gently on the shoulder before turning her attention to the toddler in the play pen. Abbey was now 23 months old, she would be two in a month. Sara couldn't believe it- that her little baby girl was going to be two, so much had happened since she was born, it felt longer.

Picking the tot up, she kissed her gently on the cheek, "You be a good girl for Lindsey now Abbey! I don't want to have to get any phone calls."

Abbey nodded her head at her mother at this, not really understanding but agreeing anyways.

Chuckling at this, Sara kissed her little girl once again before handing her over to Lindsey. "Have fun at the park you two," cried Grissom over his shoulder as they left Catherine's house. All four of them where heading down to the wedding together. Grissom and Sara had shown up with Abbey about an hour ago.

"Who's car are we going to take?" asked Warrick up at Sara and Grissom who where standing on the porch. Catherine, who was now eight month pregnant, was standing beside her husband, hands gently rubbing over her belly. The baby was due in late November.

"Um, doesn't matter to us," replied Grissom with a shrug. "Why not take your car, our has Abbey's car seat and such in it"

"Ok, sounds good!" replied Warrick, a grin appearing on his handsome dark face. "Let's go then!" He then wrapped and arm around Catherine's shoulder and the two of them made their way towards the car.

Grissom shot a quick gaze at Sara, who looked very pale at the moment. "You okay?" he asked, concerned.

Sara's turned her brown eyes onto his face and gave him a soft smile. "I will be..." she explained slowly, trying to find the right words."It's just seeing Catherine pregnant sometimes shakes me to the core. I thought I was over it...but sometimes it just hits me. It's stupid I know..." her voice trailed off as sudden tears appeared in her eyes. Looking away from Grissom, she let out a sob.

She missed being pregnant. She missed having her belly full with a child. She missed feeling her son moving about within her. The last couple of months had gone by so slowly for Sara. But eventually the weeks had gone by and the pain had numbed. Each day had gotten easier for her to move on but sometimes she would get a wave of grief come over her, like now.

Grissom did not say anything, he just simply wrapped his arms around his wife, pulling her in an embrace, and kissing her gently on the forehead. He knew how she felt; the same thing would happen to him.

After a moment had passed, Sara lifted her now dry face and looked up into the eyes of her husband, "I love you Gil!"

"I love you too," replied Grissom with a smile, leaning in and kissing her sweetly on the lips. "I love you too!" he repeated.

They then walked hand in hand down the steps of the porch together and towards the car, where Warrick and Catherine waited. They were getting through this together. They were there for each other like they always had been and always would be.

* * *

Thanks for reading and please review!


	13. Thirteen

Do not own CSI or any of the characters.

* * *

Stillborn- Chapter 13

Sara and Grissom had just put the birthday girl to bed, when they got the phone call. It was the 20th of November. Two years ago, Little Abigail Fiona Rose Grissom had come into the world. They had celebrated the day with just the three of them; going to the Zoo and such. Just having a nice family outing. The party was not until a few days later.

It was only half past six at night but Abbey who was pooped from the days event had fallen asleep in her car seat on the drive home. Grissom knew that he should have awakened her or else she would be up all night but he didn't have the heart too. She looked so peaceful sleeping. And Abbey was exactly like her mother when it came to sleep...they didn't like to woken up or else you where asking for it. Now as he lay his little girl down in her big girl bed, a birthday present from Grandma. He could hear the phone ring downstairs.

"Hello?" answered Sara into the phone. She was in standing in the kitchen. She still had her jacket on and car keys in hand.

"Hey Sara," it was Warrick.

"Hey Rick!" greeted Sara to her dear friend and co-worker. "What's up?" she asked as she began to peel off her jacket and took a seat on one of the kitchen table chairs.

"Catherine's in labour!" he spoke calmly into the phone.

"What!?" cried Sara, a little shocked. Catherine wasn't due until the 30th. "But it's too early!"

"I know but she is defiantly in labour now," he couldn't help but laugh into the phone at this. He couldn't believe it either, that Catherine was having the baby already. It was so surreal to him.

"Has her water broken?" asked Sara, as she rose to her feet and began to put on her jacket again. She had an idea that they would be heading out once again.

"Yeah, four hours ago. She has been in labour now for about five, I think," explained Warrick.

"What and you are just phoning now!" cried Sara, soundly a little upset about this.

"Chill girl. I would had phoned by Catherine didn't want to spoil Abbey's day!"

A smile appeared on Sara's face at this. She was touched that Catherine would think of her daughter and hold off in phoning so that Grissom, Sara and Abbey could celebrate the day together, just the three of them, no interruptions.

"Well, we are coming over now! You are at Desert Palm right?" asked Sara as she walked out of the kitchen and into the hallway, making her way towards the front door.

"Yeah," replied Warrick.

"Okay, see you in a few," she spoke before hanging up the phone. Placing the phone into the dock on the end table, she turned to the face the stairs. "GIL!" she called out at the top of her lungs.

"What?" asked Grissom appearing at the top of the stairs and looking down at her? Why was she yelling for?

"Catherine's having the baby! We need to head over to Desert Palm, NOW!" she cried, she didn't want to miss the birth.

"What? Catherine's in labour?" asked Grissom sounding surprised.

"Yes Gil! Now let's move it!" Sara motioned towards the front door. They had to hurry, Catherin had already been in labour for five hours, who knew how much longer it would be before she gave birth. But no matter what, Sara wanted to be there for her friends, who had been there for her during the birth of her daughter and son.

"What about Abbey?" asked Gil, watching as Sara began to put her shoes on again. He had just settled her into bed; he didn't want to a wake her. "I just put her to bed."

"Well, we can't leave her here," Sara pointed out as she did up the lace of her stylish hiking boot. "Wake her up Gil and let's move it!" her brown eyes glared at her husband. Why did he have to be so naive sometimes? She thought to herself.

"Okay, okay," mumbled Grissom under his breath as he walked away and back towards Abbey's room. He couldn't help but smile though. The old Sara was once again returning to him. This was a moment he thought he would ever see. After the loss of Joshua, he had thought he had lost the Sara that he had fallen in love with. The stubborn, beautiful Sara. And left with an empty shell. But her getting annoyed at him just then, proved that Sara was still alive!

Abbey began to whimper as Grissom lifted her up from the warmth of the bed and into his cold arms. "I know," he whispered into the tot's ear as he placed her against his chest. "This was mommy's idea, not daddy's!" Grissom then began to rub her back in comfort, trying to make her go back to sleep as he carried her out of the room and downstairs once again.

He passed her over to Sara, who held open her arms at him as he made his way down the stairs. Sara held the sleeping Abbey as Grissom put his shoes back on. "Here we go again," spoke Grissom, meeting Sara's eye as he held open the front door. Sara just grinned at him before stepping outside.

* * *

"Hey, you guys made it," spoke Catherine with a smile from where she lay in the hospital bed, as Sara, Grissom and Abbey entered the room.

"We did," replied Sara, returning the smile. She seemed to be in good spirits despite the fact that they were on the same floor and almost same room to where Sara had given birth five months ago in. Grissom kept on looking at her with concern, trying to find any signs of distress or anything. But so far he was coming up short. Sara seemed to be doing very well with the situation they were in.

"I didn't want to bother you but Warrick said he wanted you guys here for the birth of his child. I thought you just might to be alone today and such," Catherine rambled on. She too was studying the suprisely calm face of Sara. She would have guessed that Sara would of hated coming here and being present for the birth of her own child. She would have understood if that was the case. Losing a child was a great tragedy, one that you never really got over. And Catherin understood if Sara didn't feel comfort being present at the birth. It was only five months ago that Sara had been in the same situation has her, in labour about to deliver. Just thinking about it, brought fear into Catherine's mind. What if the same thing happens to her? What if she too lost her child like Sara had so suddenly? Sara was much younger then herself. What if something about her late child bearing age affect the child?

This was something she had thought about so many times before. She had seen how Sara and Grissom lost a child so easily; she couldn't help thinking that the same thing would happen to her. But like so many times, Warrick had reassured her everything would be fine.

"Oh we wouldn't miss it for the world," replied Sara. She did mean it. She prayed and hoped for Catherine to have a healthy delivery and a healthy baby. And it might pain her being back on the maternity floor of the hospital but she pushed that all aside for her friend. She wanted to be here for Catherine, like she had been there for her. The two women then met each other's eyes and smiled. A deep understanding was passed through them, friend to friend, woman to woman, mother to mother.

"I think its Abbey you have to apologize to, Cath," joked Grissom, shifting a very fussy toddler in his arms. After Grissom had placed Abbey back into her car seat, she had fallen into a comfortable sleep like she always did in the car. And had not been very happy to be awoken yet again.

"Aww the poor thing," sighed Catherine her eyes falling on the precious tote in Grissom's arms.

"She doesn't like to be awoken," explained Grissom. "Just like her mother." Grissom smiled at Sara, giving her a wink.

"Very funny," replied Sara to her husband. "Here give her to me, " offered Sara, holding open her arms towards Abbey whom was still be fussy. All she wanted was to fall asleep in her crib.

Just then as Grissom gave Abbey to Sara, Nick, Greg and Brass appeared in the room.

"Finally you guys made it!" spoke Greg as he met Grissom's eye. "It took you long enough!"

Nick couldn't help but chuckle at this as he looked on at the face of Grissom who wasn't looking too pleased at Greg at the moment and his little comment.

* * *

The rest of the night seemed to pass by slowly as Catherine continued to be in labour. In the waiting room, Brass and Grissom sat reading the paper. Sara was seated beside Grissom, fast asleep on his shoulder. Abbey was also asleep in Sara's arms. It was well pasted midnight now and the baby still had not arrived. Both Nick and Greg had gone in to work but said they would come by after shift to see how things were moving along.

"So how are things going?" asked Brass looking up from the newspaper he was reading and over towards his old friend.

Grissom raised his face at this and looked over towards Brass. "What things?" he asked confused.

"Just general things," replied Brass with a shrug.

"Good I guess."

"How's Sara been?" asked Brass quieting his voice just a little so Sara wouldn't hear him. Brass knew things had been tough for them for the past couples of months. Him and Grissom had really discussed the matter before deeply.

Grissom let out a sigh when he realized where Brass was going with this. Closing his paper, he turned his head and studied the face of Brass for a second before replying. " Sara has...recovered for the most part," explained Grissom slowly, trying to find the right words. "She will, We will never get over what happened back in July. But she starting to move on. After it had happened, Sara had gone into a dark depression, she would cry and walk about like an empty shell. It scared me. But one night, I woke up to find her redecorating the nursery. She had moved all the furniture and was painting the walls. I was scared at first. But then I realized this was her way of getting closure, by painting a fresh coat of paint on the walls. And soo after that she was redecorating the whole house. There are moments now when she will get a stab of pain over her but I think that is normal." Has he spoke these words, he couldn't help but smiling at the sleeping face of Sara on his shoulder. A slight smile appearing on his face.

"And now with being back at the hospital? That's got to be tough," asked Brass, looking with concern over at Grissom. He wasn't just asking about Sara but about him too.

"I'm afraid she will have a meltdown. But nothing has happened yet," replied Grissom with a shrug. "It is tough being here. Back where it all happened." He was still looking on at Sam has he spoke these words. It was hard being back here, watching as his dear friend had a baby of her own. He knew that Sara might have a hard time dealing with it, when it was finally over and the baby was here. He knew that seeing the baby would make Sara's heart break and make her think about her own little bundle. But he was there for her. When this happened, he would be there.

Just then Warrick appeared, he was out of breath it seemed as he stood in front of them. "Cath just had the baby!" he cried with joy. "I'm a father!"

"What?" spoke both Grissom and Brass shocked.

"Yeah all the sudden she was 10 cm and before I knew it, the baby was coming out!" explained Warrick in a rush. A grin appearing on his face. He was so happy at the moment, he couldn't hide it.

"Congratulations, Rick," spoke Grissom with a grin as he slowly rose to his feet and shook Warrick's hand.

"What did you have?" asked Brass, him too standing up.

"It's a boy! An eight pound baby boy!"

Sara was then woken up by her friend's cry of joys over the birth of his child. Hazily opening her brown eyes, she let out a yawn and looked around the room. "What's going on?" she asked in a sleepy voice, has she rubbed her eyes.

"I'm a father! That's what just happened Girl," spoke Warrick towards his friend.

"Catherine had the baby already?" she asked. "And I miss it!"

"It just happened Sara," spoke Grissom looking down at his wife.

Adjusting the still sleeping tot in her arms, Sara rose to her feet and hugged her friend. "Congrates Warrick! What did you have?" asked Sara with a smile, pulling away and looking into her friends eyes.

"It's a boy, "replied Warrick slowly. He didn't want to upset Sara with the news that he had a healthy little boy and she did not.

"Congrates," spoke Sara, pulling Warrick into a hug again, masking her pain. She didn't want her own feelings to ruin this wonderful moment for her friends. She was happy for them but she couldn't help but feel a little jealous at the thought that their baby boy had lived and hers had not.

* * *

Okay that ends it for now but more will be coming soon! Next chapter Sara will hold this little boy, how will she reacted?

Thanks for reading and please review!


	14. Fourteen

Do not own CSI or any of the characters.

* * *

Stillborn- Chapter 14

He was being handed to Catherine by the nurse, as they entered the hospital room. There was a blissful silence as they all shuffled in and swarmed around the bed, appearing down at the sleeping bundle lying in the crook of Catherine's arm. There seemed to be tears of joy rolling down the red-head's cheeks as she appeared down at the sweet face of her new born son.

A pang of pain erupted through Sara' heart as she watched as her friend, stared down at her son and traced a finger along his soft cheek. The baby had skin of caramel and dark curly hair on top of his crown. It was hard not to think about her own son and how his skin had been a yellowish blue tone, yet still warm from the womb at the moment. Sara couldn't help but feel jealous as she watched at the baby lifted his little arm from the blanket wrapped around him and with his hand reached up grabbed a hold of Catherine's finger; creating a tiny fight of steel around it. But she quickly brushed away the unshed tears from her eyes and cracked a smile at Catherine, who looked up at her at that moment.

"Congratulations Cath," mustered Sara, shifting Abbey in her arms. "He's beautiful!"

Catherine smiled a gentle smile at her before asking, "Do you want to hold him?"

Sara was a little taken back by this. She wasn't sure if she really wanted to hold him. However she could feel her arms aching to feel the weight and warmth of his little body against her skin. Sara did not reply right away, she nervously looked over at Grissom. Who gave her a reassuring smile and took Abbey from her arms.

"Okay then," spoke Sara quietly as she stared down at Catherine; who smiled back at her and gently placed the tiny infant into Sara's arms.

Sara had to close her eyes for a second and blink away the tears that threatened to fall as she felt the baby's warm body in her arms; he seemed to fit so naturally there. After a second had passed, she reopened them and stared down at the baby's sweet face. He stared back up at her intensely. She noted then that he was born with his father beautiful green eyes. Holding him in her arms was too much for her to handle as emotion erupted through her and old wounds broke open but however she didn't want to have it any other way. Holding this beautiful joyful bundle in her arms gave her a sense of peace, a closure almost it felt like. Her son had come back to her. His spirit was alive in Catherine's son.

Realising this, a deep sob escaped from her lips. This sense that her son had come back to her was too much. She needed to get out. Handing back the baby to Catherine, she apologized and ran out of the room as tears began to blur her vision. She walked quickly to the end of the hall, where she slid herself down the wall to the floor and pressed her knees to her chest.

It wasn't too long afterwards, that Grissom appeared. He quietly took the seat beside her and wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder and kissed her temple. He knew how she was feeling, he had felt it too; Joshua's spirit.

* * *

"How are you feeling?" asked Warrick as he looked up to see Sara enter the room again. It was an hour later from when Sara had ran out of the room. Warrick's green eyes stared at Sara with concern.

"I'm fine," she replied, giving him a reassuring smile as she took a step towards him. Warrick was seated in a plastic chair beside Catherine's bed. Catherine was fast asleep, with Abbey curled up beside her.

Walking over to her sleeping daughter, Sara reached out and brushed Abbey's hair away from her face; studying the peacefulness of it as she slept.

"Yeah, Catherine thought that it would be good to put Abbey in the bed, letting her sleep for a while, I hope that is okay," replied Warrick from behind her.

"Yes it's fine," replied Sara, looking over her shoulder and smiling at her friend.

"So what are you going to name him?" asked Sara as she turned around and looked at Warrick and his son in his arms.

"Caleb," replied Warrick, looking from his friend's face to his son's.

"He looks like a Caleb," pointed out Sara, with a smile. "What his middle name going to be?"

"Well... that is what I wanted to ask you about, Sara," began Warrick, licking his bottom lip nervously.

"Yes?" asked Sara with confusion. What did Warrick need to ask her about?

"Catherine and I have talked about it and we want to, if it's alright with you, use Joshua as the middle name," his voice trailed off a little as he explained all this to Sara, looking deep into her eyes for an answer. They wanted to honour and remember Sara's son in some way.

Sara was taken aback by this. Tears seemed to form in her eyes at the thought of Warrick and Catherine thinking of her son. "Yes," whispered Sara. It was alright with her if they used Joshua as the middle name. She was grateful for this.

A smile then appeared on Warrick's face as he rose to his feet and pulled Sara into an embrace, with Caleb still in his arms. "Thank you," whispered Sara into Warrick's ear as tears still continued to fall.

"No Thank you Sara," replied Warrick pulling away a little and looking Sara in the eyes. He then kissed her on the cheek.

After a moment, they pulled away completely from each other and once again Sara took Warrick's son into her arms. This time it wasn't a painful experience. It was a joyful, happy one.

"Welcome to the world Caleb Joshua Brown," she cooed as she lifted the baby gently to her shoulder and placed a kiss on his temple.

* * *

A few days later, the whole gang got together at Grissom and Sara's house to celebrate Abbey's 2nd birthday. Catherine and Warrick were there with little Caleb and Lindsey. Brass, Nick and Greg were of course also among the crowd. Hodges, Mandy, Archie and all the rest of the nightshift lab rats were there. Wendy and her new husband Steve and their little girl, Kiki who was about four month now had also come for the big day. Even Grissom's mom Fiona and Sara's brother Jake and his long time girl friend Kate had flown in for the party.

Sara couldn't had been more happy as all the people she loved crowded around Abbey in her high chair and sang happy birthday as Grissom brought in the cake. This was her family right here. These people where her dear friends and family that she loved and cared about deeply. Who all felt the same way about her and Grissom and their little girl Abbey. She was touched.

"Hey you okay?" asked Greg with concern, as he studied her face as silence tears fell down it.

"Yes I'm more then okay," she replied with a grin. "I'm happy! These are tears of joy!" She then pulled Greg into a hug. She was feeling better then she had in months. She had finally gotten the closure from the death of her son that she needed. Life was moving on and Sara was moving on with it.

"Who wants cake?" she then cried, pulling away from Greg and looking around the room, counting the hands that shot up in the air in response.

* * *

I know this sound like the end but there is one more chapter to come.

I hoped you enjoyed! Thanks for reading and please review!


	15. Fifteen

Do not own CSI or any of the characters.

I know its sad but I wanted to end this story on a happy note, so here is the last chapter of Stillborn.

Enjoy!

And thank you so much for those who have reviewed from the start!

* * *

Stillborn- Chapter 15

_Two years later..._

Grissom was in the bedroom reading the latest issue of Forensic weekly when Sara came into the room from the bathroom. She was bare foot and dressed in a night gown that fell mid-thigh. Her brown eyes where wide and staring at Grissom from where he sat.

"What's up?" he asked, appeared over the rims of his glasses at her.

"I'm pregnant," stated Sara sound shocked by this news.

"You're what?" asked Grissom, eyebrows raised in surprise.

"I'm pregnant," repeated Sara again, holding up the pregnancy test she had just taken towards him. "Here look for yourself, I'm pregnant."

Grissom took off his glasses and put his magazine to the side as he slide off the bed and took a step towards Sara's outstretched hand and took the plastic stick. He laid it out in his palm and stared down at the little screen which had a clear blue plus sign on it. A moment of silence passed between them as realization sank into Grissom's head.

"You're pregnant!" he cried looking up at his wife's face. "You're pregnant!" Grissom's face then broke out into a grin. This was a surprise but a wonderful surprise for them. They had not been trying to conceive another child but secretly wanted another one. And now their wish had come true.

Sara grinned back at him; she was over the moon at this news. Throwing her arms around Grissom's neck, she kissed him passionately on the lips.

* * *

About two months later, when they were sure that they were pregnant and the worrying stage of the 1st trimester were over ; they broke the joyful news to Abbey, who was four now.

"Abbey, Mommy and Daddy have something to tell you," began Sara pulling Abbey into her lap.

"What is it?" she asked, licking her ice cream cone and staring up at her mother with wide curious eyes. It was a mid April day and Grissom and Sara had taken Abbey to the local park by their house to break the news.

"Is it a puppy? Are we getting a dog?" she asked excitably. Every since Greg had gotten a dog, she had wanted one.

"No Sweetie it's not a dog," spoke Grissom gently down at his daughter.

"Oh, then what is it?" asked Abbey taking another lick of her ice- cream. She sounded disappointed by this news.

Sara couldn't help but chuckle at her daughter, she was so cute. "You are going to be a big sister! I'm pregnant!" announced Sara, looking into the sweet face of Abbey.

"I AM!" cried the four year old, nearly dropping her ice cream cone on the front of Sara's shirt as she threw her arms around Sara's neck and looked into her mother's eyes.

"Yes you are!" replied Sara, looking over Abbey's shoulder and smiling at Grissom. He smiled back.

* * *

A eight month pregnant Sara was seated on a plastic deck chair watching as Abbey and a now two year Caleb ran back and forth through the sprinkler. It was an unusually hot late September afternoon, Sara and Grissom where over at Catherine and Warrick's place having a baroque. Tearing her eyes away from the giggling kids, Sara shot a quick glance over to where Grissom was standing at the edge of the patio with Brass. He gave her a wink when he noticed her staring. Smiling at this, Sara rested her hands on her now enormous belly and moved her eyes back on her daughter. Who had now been picked up by Greg and was being spun around. Her daughter's laughter rang out among the backyard. It was like music to Sara's ears. She then looked over to where Warrick stood flipping burgers and wearing an apron that read "Kiss the Chief" . Catherine just then appeared form inside the house and made her way over to her husband. Sara watched as Catherine playfully hit Warrick on the arm and point to the baroque. She watched this flirty teasing between them before she heard footsteps approaching. Looking up she saw Nick making his way towards her.

"How you doing?" asked Nick as he came towards her and took the empty seat next to her. Sara looked over at Nick and smiled. "I'm doing very well!" she replied. Being pregnant again felt so right to her. It brought a sense of peace it seemed over her.

"That good to here," replied the Texan, his voice all the sudden filling with emotion. Sara reached out and took his hand in her's and gave it a squeeze. Grinning back at her, Nick reached out with his other hand and rested it on her stomach.

Just then the baby kicked hard against his palm, making him flinch. "Wow, powerful baby you got there Sara," his eyes stared down in disbelief at the spot where the baby had just kicked.

"I know," agreed Sara.

A little later, once the sun had set and they had all moved inside the house; Sara found herself talking to Warrick. It was just the two of them in the living room watching over Caleb and Abbey, who were both fast asleep now on the couch. Sara couldn't help but smile at the two of them curled up together.

"It looks like he is going to be just like his father," commented Sara to Warrick, not taking her eyes off of the kids.

"What do you mean?" asked Warrick.

"Well ,look, He is only two years old and already falling in love with older girls," Sara then pointed out as the sleeping tot reached out in his sleep and took Abbey's hand. Sara gazed up at her friend with a smile.

Warrick smiled back at this. "What can I say?" he asked with a shrug, trying to hold back his laugh. "It's a Browns family trait!"

Sara couldn't help but let out a hearty laugh at this. Oh it felt so good to laugh and smile again, she thought to herself. That had been something she had to relearn to do it seemed after her son's death; learn to be happy again.

"Well maybe if it's a girl in there you are carrying, maybe Caleb and her will hook up!" suggest Warrick, reaching out and running a hand along Sara's belly.

"Oh I'm sure Grissom would just love that," commented Sara meeting Warrick's eye.

* * *

"Sara, I need you to push for me okay, you are almost there!"

Sara nodded her head at this; it was Halloween morning and she was in the middle of giving birth to her 3rd child. Fear pulsed through her body as flashbacks of her last child's birth went through her head. Grissom squeezed her hand in support, he knew what she was going through, he felt the same thing.

She squeezed Grissom's hand back as she leaned forward and pushed. "Here comes the baby's head!" spoke out the doctor who was delivering the baby. Sara gripped Grissom's hand harder at this.

"He's as a lot of hair," noted the doctor grinning up towards Sara and Grissom as the baby's head emerged. Sara studied the face of the doctor for a second, expecting the smile to go away but instead it remained there. "Sara you are doing great," complimented the doctor still looking at Sara. "I just need you to push one last time!"

Sara then nervously looked up and met Grissom's eye before pushing will all her might one final time. The next few second where a blur to Sara as the room filed with the screams of a tiny little being entering the world.

"IT'S A BOY!" cried the doctor, holding up a crying pink alien.

Tears immediately filled her eyes as she looked on at her new born son. She had her boy. She finally had her healthy little boy. Grissom embraced Sara at this , kissing the side of her cheek. There family was completed he thought to himself as the doctor asked him if he would like to cut the cord. Grissom met Sara's eye before turning to the doctor and nodding his head.

Once the baby was cleaned up and placed in Sara's waiting arms, the room door burst open with all their friends and family spilling into the room. Looking down at her son and up at all her family standing there, Sara began to cry once again. Her heart was bursting with joy. She was overwhelmed with it.

As Sara looked back down at her son's peaceful sleeping face, she reached out and traced a finger along the softness of his cheek. The infant's eyes immediately flustered open at this and focused themselves on Sara's face.

Sara smiled down at her son, "Hi there buddy!" she cooed down at him.

Just then Abbey appeared at her mother's side. "Is that my new baby brother?" she asked as she climbed onto the bed.

"Yes it is," responded Sara smiling at her daughter. Abbey looked down at the infant and back up at her mother. "Can I hold him?" she asked.

Sara nodded her head at this. She then gently placed the infant, who did not squirm one bit at being moved into the four year old tiny arms. "Now just watch his head," instructed Sara.

Abbey nodded her head at this as she smiled down at her little brother. "What's his name?" she asked.

Sara looked up and met Grissom's eye who was smiling at her, "What do you want to name him?" asked Grissom more towards his wife then his daughter.

But before Sara could open her mouth and reply, Abbey jumped in. "MAX! I want to name him Max!"

And so it was settled, the new addition to the Grissom household was named Max Jonathan Gilbert Grissom.

The End

* * *

I hoped you liked it! Thanks for all the feedback you have given me on this story from the beginning everyone!

Please review one final last time and Thanks for reading!

-Julie


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